Monday, December 6, 2010

...the Ear Plugs?

Remember last year when I was working on being more optimistic? Well, I've been trying, and we have determined that I'm being sabotaged by a little something called my internal dialogue, ID for short (Freudians reading this can start laughing now)

If ID were a person, I would slap it's face. It complains incessantly about everything from my hair to my handwriting. It never shuts up and it never says anything nice. To mangle a line from Star Wars, if there is a bright spot in the center of the universe of my life, ID is on the plant that it's furthest from.

If ID were listing some of it's skills, it could say:
  • ID is a first-rate archivist, maintaining a database of 46+ years of memories and experiences, fully indexed and searchable.
  • ID is proactive, keeping current on cultural references in anticipation of melding it with memory data to effortlessly produce disparaging comments at a moments notice.
  • ID is an operator, working seamlessly with the subconscious to produce nightmares that are as terrifying as they are complex (yes, seeing Inception was a very bad idea).
Basically, ID is a devious SOB that is hell-bent on making sure that I stay in the depths of unrelenting self-doubt.

How do I fight my ID? How do I deafen the sound of my own internal dialogue?

Here is what I have learned

Re-frame: This doesn't stop ID from spewing forth it's typical drivel, but means that I become a translator of sorts, telling myself things like - ID didn't really mean "I am a useless, lazy oaf. " It meant that "I'm overworked at the moment and am suffering from an appropriate level of burn-out."

Ok, I think I can do this one. (Sorry, ID didn't mean "think" it really meant "know" - Hey ID learn English will ya!).

Re-write the Script: This requires me to consciously develop a new script for ID to follow.

Hmm, I can write a new script, but make ID follow it?

*maniacal laughter*

Does anyone know where I can get a set of ear plugs?

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