Monday, June 17, 2013

...The Euphemisms?

Birthdays. Love them or hate them, they happen every year...until they don't.

My father would have been 73 today.  He always hated his birthday.  The year I was old enough to be a wise ass (no, I was not born that way) Dad's birthday happened to fall on a Monday.  

Before he left for work, instead of wishing him a Happy Birthday, I wished him a Happy Monday!  

At first he thought I was being sarcastic about the 'oh, so wonderful first day of the work week.'

Then I explained, "Well, it's got to be better than Happy Birthday?"

He laughed as he left for work, something my mother said he never did.  

From that time until the end of his days, I would come up with euphemisms for Happy Birthday.

Some were easy:
  • Wednesday - Happy Over the Hump Day
  • Friday - Happy Friday
  • Father's Day - Happy Father's Day

But what the hell could I do about Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays or Sundays?

Sometimes, my deliverance would come in the form of an event that happened on or near his birthday:
  • My High School Graduation was Happy Father of the Graduate Day
  • At the end of 11th grade it was Happy Your Daughter Got Straight A's Day
Sometimes I had to resort to 
  • Happy Whatever Floats your Boat Day
  • Happy Day Before Friday Day
  • Happy Satur Day
  • Happy Day-We're-Not-Supposed-to-Mention Day
No matter what euphemism I used, Dad always laughed. 

Which for a man who hated his birthday, was really the Holy Grail.

I miss coming up with the euphemisms. 

I miss my Dad.

Dad, wherever you are -  "Happy I was Blessed with a Wonderful Father Day.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

...My...I have no idea what.

What do these things have in common?
  • Having 17 tabs open on my web browser.
  • Downloading the Federal Budget (from OMB).
  • Creating a table from FEC data sets...yes sets.
  • Looking at demographic maps.
  • Looking up the ethics of clinical trials.
  • Drafting a five paragraph Facebook post with citations (and then posting it).
  • Casting dispersions at the interviewee on the TV (who really was being a pin-head).


They are all reasons why, after 9:00 p.m., Angie is no longer allowed to

  • Watch cable news
  • Watch news magazine shows
  • Read the news (digital or paper)
  • Go on Facebook
I don't think I need to explain why. Downloading the Federal Budget says it all.  

I get a bit obsessive, even it it is for a good cause.

It is so much fun to be in my head.....

Saturday, June 8, 2013

...the Fractions?

My husband and I are driving down the road in De Witt, Michigan when we see this sign:

Five thirds?  I hear you say.

That's what I said, too, along with...
"Five Thirds of what?"
"Maybe it's supposed to be one and two thirds?"
"Something greater than one?"
"Why kind of business names itself Five Thirds?"

My Ever Patient and Observant Husband pointed to the building (which is set back aways from the road sign) and says, "It's a bank. It's called Fifth Third Bank."

Was that enough to appease Yours Truly?

Of course not...

"So if it isn't a fraction, why right it as one?"
"What kind of bank calls itself Fifth Third? "
"Does it mean the fifth Third Bank?"
"Are they better than a whole bank?"
"Is it 2/3 better than a whole bank?"

My Ever Patient Husband sighs, "Just look it up."

Within minutes of arriving home, I opened my computer and typed into Google "Why is fifth third bank called that?"

I found the answer in the bank's press and media FAQ on their website, (which is apparently this question comes up a lot,  because was the third one on the list.

According to the bank:

"In 1871, the Bank of the Ohio Valley was purchased by the Third National Bank. With the turn of the century came the union of the Third National Bank and the Fifth National Bank, and eventually the organization became known as "Fifth Third Bank.""

....So I guess they couldn't be the Eighth National Bank?

a blog of exploration, discovery, and recovery