Wednesday, December 3, 2014

the Cartilage Bandits?

Dear Body,
We need to have a heart to heart, or is that head to heart
…maybe mind to heart?
Ah! I have it! We need to have a mind to body. That’s it!

Let's start again.

Dear Body,
We need to have a mind to body chat. I would suggest we do it over coffee, but for reasons of which you are undoubtedly aware, we will have to settle for the keyboard. I have commandeered my hands for the next little while, so keep your mitts off.

I know, that is a hand-related puns…tough.

I have had quite enough of your skeletal mismanagement! Who do you think you are roughing up my cartilage so much? It has already fled one kneecap, and the other isn’t far behind. Then there are the several vertebrae that are feeling the pinch. While joints in my hands are hanging on, you are not making that easy.

I have to ask, what do you have against my cartilage? Did it offend you somehow? Has it been out late carousing with some licentious ligament?

You do realize that having no cartilage means nothing is cushioning our bones? There are 206 of them in here (not counting the ones in our ears) and they do not suffer in silence.

My left femoral neck was so stressed that the cartilage around my hip joint tore! You are really putting the thumbscrews to our skeletal system.

Yes, there are indeed multitudes of hand–related puns and the fingers are really enjoying typing every, single, one.

Was it something I did? I know I’ve not always been the most considerate of hosts, but that’s no reason take it out on the cartilage and bones is it? You are cutting off our nose to spite our face, and I quite like our nose.

Honestly, what purpose does this “Just Say No to Cartilage” campaign serve?  

I have more complaints to lodge, but I will not over tax my fingers.  

Sincerely,

Me

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